Lisa's Event Bio

Author, recording artist, humorist, and speaker, Lisa Espinoza Johnson has inspired and encouraged audiences at events nationwide including MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) International Convention and Hearts at Home Regional Conferences. Lisa has also been a regular columnist for Christian Parenting Today and has appeared as a guest on such nationally syndicated radio programs as Janet Parshall’s America and HomeWord with Jim Burns as well as TV’s Living the Life. From her first album “Candy Kisses, Muddy Hugs” to her book Days of Whine and Noses, Lisa’s sense of humor, practical insight and passion for encouraging others is evident.

Lisa’s pride and joy is her family. She has four boys--14, 16, 19 and 45 (she’s been married to that one for 24 years) and a 5-year-old surprise princess. As far as addictions go---there’s chocolate, vanilla lattes and books.

The Inside Scoop on Lisa Espinoza
as interviewed by Lisa Espinoza

First, where did you get the brilliant, narcissistic idea to interview yourself?

From my very talented writer friend Joanne Brokaw.  Thanks, Joanne. You can find her brilliant, narcissistic interview at www.joannebrokaw.com under Random Musings.

How old are you?
What kind of question is that to start off with? Where’d you go to interview school? You’re lucky it’s me you’re talking to.  A lesser woman may have cancelled the interview altogether.

If you must know, I’ll turn 43 this summer.  When I turned 40 three years ago, I thought, “What the heck!”  and immediately went out and got myself  some fake nails. I love these things---they’re great for scraping food off the counter, unscrewing things, tapping out The Star Spangled Banner on my desk.  Who knows what I’ll do for the big 43!

Where were you born?

In Houston, Texas, thus the accent I’ll never shed—nor do I want to—and the reason I’m always “fixin’ to” do something.

When did you get married?
Chip and I met in college, fell madly in love, and were married on May 21, 1983. A week after getting married we headed for Alaska in Chip’s yellow Mercury Cougar, pulling a homemade plywood trailer full of all our belongings (including the green ceramic fish wall hangings from our wedding shower).  We lived in Soldotna, AK, for a year.

Do you have any pets?
We have a painfully neurotic mini-Schnauzer named Max who barks incessantly at any and all living creatures even if he knows them.  If he were human he would be in therapy and on high doses of pharmaceuticals. We also have a sweet little guinea pig named Daphne that we rescued from the animal shelter.  We’ve inadvertently caused the demise or debilitating illness of most small animals we’ve owned through the years (read the full story in Days of Whine and Noses—“On Pets”) leading my youngest son Chandler to ask, “Mom, we are gonna rescue a guinea pig?”

Where did you go to school?

I graduated as Lisa Kay Vickery from White Oak High School in White Oak, TX---Go Roughnecks!  I got my Associates Degree in Sign Language Interpreting from College of Sequoias in Visalia, CA, in 1987, just before giving birth to my first child.

In 2002, nine months after giving birth to my grand finale (???) child, I graduated from Vanguard University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. However, thus far I’ve been unable to utilize my education in Pavlovian responses to motivate the men in my house to actually dispense their underwear into the hamper.

What are your professional affiliations/memberships?

PTA, COSTCO, AAA, 24-Hour Fitness, Ralph’s Club, Albertson’s Club, Von’s Club.

What kind of jobs have you done?
Model for Sears as a teenager, retail clerk, bank teller  (yeah, I know, it’s scary), Jafra consultant, Avon representative, administrative assistant (lost all my boss’s computer files—double scary),massage chair sales, sign language interpreter, writer, speaker.

One of my favorite “careers” has been interpreting, especially musical interpreting.  It’s three things I love all wrapped up into one—language, music, and acting.  When you’re interpreting music, the mood you convey is just as important as the words you sign.  I love that challenge.  Some artists I’ve interpreted for are Martina McBride,  Elton John, Amy Grant, Styx, and Stephen Curtis Chapman.   Interpreting Handel’s Messiah was a huge challenge and thrill.

Do you have any hobbies or things you love to do?

I’m in hog heaven if I have a book in my hand---or a magazine, or a pamphlet, or even a really good cereal box. Given two hours and restrictions from any kind of work whatsoever, I would grab a book and a latte’, go to the beach, wiggle my bottom down into the warm sand, and READ.

I also like to research stuff on the Internet. I’ll confess, being an information junkie, I have to set boundaries for myself or I’d be researching “stuff” all the time. There’s so much stuff to know about. You can learn anything on the Internet----from whether your guinea pig’s teeth will grow back after your four-year-old drops him to how to salvage burnt beans to why leeches are not actually evil creatures. That one came from my kids who wanted to know if the leeches in Lemony Snicket were actually like real leeches.

Scrapbooking, in obsessive compulsive spurts, is another hobby I enjoy. My memories are not of the “creative” sort, but the pictures are in an album with semi-legible captions and reasonably accurate dates, so there you go. Pity the person who gets in my way when I make a 9:53 PM run to Target for acid-free tape!

I love going out to eat with the family or just going out to eat…or just going OUT! My idea of paradise is getting away alone with my husband, family vacations to anywhere, and seeing the clothes hamper completely empty. That last one has never happened, but hey, a girl can dream.

Is there anything you really stink at?

I’ve dinged, dented or totaled most every vehicle I’ve ever driven. Tearing the door off the Honda Prelude in the garage would have to be my crowning achievement.

It’s also physiologically impossible for me to cook more than one thing at a time without burning something.  My kids say I’m the only person alive who can burn ice cream.

 One time my son came running into the office yelling, “Mom, what’s on fire?”  “Oh, it’s outside…someone’s burning leaves or something.” The smell became worse. I ran to the back door to investigate.  As I walked through the kitchen I saw smoke billowing from the big pot on the stove.  I’d forgotten a pot of posole (Mexican hominy) I’d put on to boil.  Then the smoke alarm went off.

When did you become a Mom?
Four years after saying, “I do,” Chip said, “Push, honey, push,” and we embarked upon the greatest adventure of our lives—PARENTING.  That was in 1987. Three sons and a pint-sized diva later, the father of my children just keeps getting better looking by the year.

What are your favorite “friendly” addictions?

Well, there’s chocolate, iced vanilla lattes, Golden Spoon frozen yogurt, books, American Idol, House, Boston Legal—24-I LOVE TiVo AND Jack Bauer.

What are your favorite movie(s)?

Steel Magnolias, The Godfather trilogy, Jerry McGuire, Rocky, Mr. Wrong, Multiplicity, That Thing You Do, Elf. If I thought really hard I could maybe come up with an impressive classic or something with real cultural value and significance.  Or not.

What about favorite books?

No way I can narrow this one down, but here are a few that pop into my head immediately—Toward God (Michael Casey), Disappointment with God (Philip Yancey), Boundaries with Kids (Cloud and Townsend). Once I start listing, I can’t stop because I really do glean something of value from most books I read. I’ll be talking about many of my favorite books, adding more as time permits, on the For Bookworms section of my website.

It’s probably easier to mention a few of my favorite authors—Henri Nouwen, Richard Foster, Erma Bombeck, Philip Yancey.

I read much more non-fiction than fiction, but my favorite “getaway” book to curl up with at bed-time is a page-turning mystery.

Thank you for the interview.  I hope we’ll meet again soon.

We’d better. If we don’t, they’ll ship us both off to a special place where they’ll bring our meals and change our nice white sheets and help us find one another.