Lit

Today my heart was so filled with encouragement because of friends who stopped by to give me a hug and check in. One friend brought me a Nekter green juice — aahhh, so yummy and healthy. Tomorrow you’ll see what another friend blessed me with.

Had to go get new tires after work. How fun is that!!!

Then I spent WAY too much time at Tuesday morning and Homegoods looking for lamps for my bedroom. It is a welcome distraction to obsess over something that just really doesn’t matter.

On the way home, I remembered that I wanted to check to see if the solar light string I put on Chandler’s bike last night worked. I had a full on conversation with myself.

“They are just lights. And it’s just a bike we painted white. It wasn’t Chandler’s bike. If they don’t work, it’s no big deal. i will just take them back to the store and tell them those lights had the privilege of honoring my son and they blew it.”

I was prepared to be disappointed.

As I pulled up to the bike memorial, I saw the glow. They worked!!!! My heart was so happy!

After taking a picture, I sat in my car beside the memorial and cried. Every time i go there, I end up telling Chandler how sorry I am for what he went through. This time I said, “Chandler, I know you’re not here, but you kind of are. And there is so much love for you here. I hope you know that. I love you, son.”

At least for now, the bike memorial is bringing some light into a dark space. Like Chandler — the candle maker — it is lit.