Friends

A nod to last week’s trip to NYC, home of Friends…it’s Chandler and his buddy Joey. By the way, we didn’t name Chandler after Chandler Bing, but we were Friends devotees.

Since December 15, I’ve thought a lot about what it means to be a friend. I have been deeply grateful to discover that during the worst time ever, not one of my friends has shrunk or disappeared as I’ve heard sometimes happens when there’s a tragedy or crisis. They just keep showing up for me, and I just keep responding, “Yes! thank you so much!”

It is humbling to be on the receiving end….again and again and again.

Even so, I am certain of this — friends want to help. If we don't let them, we rob ourselves and them too. At some point, the tables will turn and you will be the one on the giving end. You will see your friend in a really tough spot and all you will want to do is be there for them. And when they let you, you will be blessed.

Being a friend to someone during a world-turned-upside-down situation doesn’t mean you have the answers. In fact, it’s best when you admit you don’t. Spouting empty cliches and theological treatises is exactly the opposite of what is helpful and healing. Sometimes the most appropriate, sincere sentiments are built on the phrase “this sucks.”

Being there, of course, includes some of the big stuff like helping with meals and rides and household chores and, God forbid, planning and executing a memorial service.

But it also encompasses the “small” stuff that really isn’t small at all:
A cup of coffee
A text or note
Sitting with and waiting
A white ceramic wienie dog full of Hersheys kisses on your desk when you get to work (thank you Tracey and MHCS drama class)

I’ve learned these past months how to be a better friend by watching my friends. They have lived the definition of being there.

The Friends theme song pretty much nails it.

I’ll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I’ll be there for you
Like I’ve been there before
I’ll be there for you
Cuz’ you’re there for me too