Dancing with Chandler
A week ago tonight, I was dancing my heart out with my kids, my husband, Aunt Val, wonderful friends old and new...and Chandler. He wouldn't have had it any other way.
This is a paradox, a dichotomy, a contradiction. How can my feet dance when it feels like an anchor is holding me down? How can I laugh when tears soak my soul?
I knew that Chandler was smiling on his celebration -- all his friends and family joined together for a big party. Surrounded by all this love, my heart was overflowing. And having my kids on the dance floor with me...are you kidding!? It was the best ever and the worst ever.
This is life. It is good and bad, light and dark, high and low -- tangled, interwoven, often even interdependent.
Thankfully, the contrasts aren't usually this stark. The dog pukes on the carpet just as you're running out the door to your daughter's dance recital. You get a job promotion the same week you get a slab leak--yuck! You love your new car, but you wish someone had not just dinged it in the parking lot with a shopping cart.
If you're new, I'm really sorry to break this to you. Part of learning to live life on life's terms (as the wise folks in AA and Al-Anon say) is to accept reality as it is, not as we want it to be. It's not easy. It takes intention and practice. And grace. Lots of grace.
When we learn to accept what we perceive as both the good and the bad, to accept each moment as a gift, we are able to laugh through our tears, smile through our pain, and dance our way through mourning.