God Moments, Gratitude, & Friends
In July, I saw this really cool yearly planner in TJ Maxx that I decided to buy and make my God Moments & Gratitude Journal (GMGJ). I write about the crappy feelings and stuff in a different journal, but I wanted one that just allowed me to recall and reflect on the ways that God had showed up each day. OMG, it literally JUST dawns on me as I type this that TJ Maxx is where I received the call that Chandler had been hit by a car on December 15!!! It is either serendipity or a sign that I spend way too much time in TJ Maxx.
Anyway, my last entry in my GMGJ was on December 14. Yesterday I started writing in it again--not because there was nothing to be grateful for from December 15 until January 7, but because my mind, body, and soul were engulfed in the process of walking through the most difficult time of my entire life. Yesterday I was able to pick up one of my previous pieces of normal, and I wrote in my GMGJ.
I knew today would be a hard one. I needed to go through Chandler's room and glean items that he would want displayed at his memorial service. It was difficult for two reasons: 1) I NEVER wanted to go in his room because it was a freaking mess, and clutter stresses me out, and 2) well, I think it's pretty obvious why I wouldn't want to go in his room at this point.
My friend Anita came, WITH STARBUCKS, and we opened the door to Chandler's room. We both gasped. Don't feel sorry for him. He was fully capable of cleaning his room. She said, "Let's just start in the corner and work our way around."
By the end of the afternoon, the transformation was unbelievable, and we had amassed several items we knew would represent him well at Sunday's memorial service. Chandler's friend Grant came and helped and also cleaned out Chandler's car, something I was not looking forward to at all.
Tonight my friends Stephanie and Christine helped me plan the details of Chandler's memorial service and took details off my plate so all I have to do is show up on Sunday. We ate food that had been delivered to us by other friends. We looked at pictures that have been sent by Chandler's friends (now part of our tribe). And throughout the day and night, I returned texts from friends who are constantly checking in.
Here's the takeaway--if you're going through shit and looking for God's hand in the middle of it, look no further than the person who says to you, "What can I do to help?" They mean it, and they are God's hand reaching out to you. Tell them what you need and allow them to be blessed just as they are blessing you.