Alexithymia

Alexithymia

Alexithymia.

This is the Greek term for not having words for feelings.

Often alexithymia refers to individuals who have been abused or traumatized in some way and are unable to identify and describe what they are feeling.

I can find lots of words to describe my feelings since December 15.

Terrified.
Shocked.
Hopeful.
Frustrated.
Angry.
Scattered.
Focused.
Desperate.
Heavy.
Lost.
Devastated.
Anxious.
Numb.
Sad.
Happy.
Paralyzed.
Confused.
Panicked.
Grateful.
Determined.
Joyful.
Weak.
Strong.

That’s just off the top of my head.

None of these words fully capture or adequately convey all that churns within this 5’1” container.

I love words. I use lots of them. I could write words every day for the rest of my life -- use up every synonym for pain, loss, grief -- and I could never come close to describing this reality.

Lots of words, and yet none at all. That’s what this is.

Alexithymia.

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