Ibuprofen and Eger

Ibuprofen and Eger

This morning I woke up with a headache and my foot throbbing. I was a bit bummed about not feeling well. I gave myself a little talking to.

It’s OK not to feel good. You just had foot surgery a week ago. Take some ibuprofen, get back on the couch, and give yourself a break.

I made some headway on my latest read -- The Body Keeps the Score—Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Then I watched an interview with Dr. Edith Eva Eger (author of The Choice), my new mentor. I would love to meet that lady. I want to be her when I grow up. She lives in San Diego where, at 92 years old, she still practices as a psychologist. A survivor of Auschwitz, she is passionate about helping people find healing and freedom after trauma and loss. If you want to be inspired, Google her and listen. Or read her book….the one she wrote at the young age of 89.

The ibuprofen and a dose of Eger-ism brought me back to myself and I began my workday. I can’t even express how thankful I am for the ability to work from home.

You would think with all this time alone during the day, stuck on the couch, I would have pondered all the mysteries in my life and come to some profound conclusions. Instead, I have to reign in my thoughts, give them some boundaries, because they tend to visit every category, every topic, every universal possibility, leaving me overwhelmed. That’s how my brain works. Always has.

Still, there are some questions that I find myself rehearsing often. I don’t know if today, this week, this month, or even the rest of this year is the time to pursue answers in earnest. But the questions are there.

One such question is…what’s next?

My friend Monica, who lost her precious son Jojo last year, spoke the gospel truth when she said to me recently, “We are changed forever. We will never be the same as we were.” I replay those words and can’t help but believe that this truth will shape what’s next.

So today on the couch, as the question formed once more, I prayed….

God, you know what’s next. I don’t have the energy to grapple with it right now, but I trust you. You know the desires of my heart. Help me know when to move forward and how. And when to stay still.

Amen.

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