I had been looking forward to having a soul care day today. Tonight, my soul is thanking me.
This morning I got to spend some time with an incredible mom….a mom who’s missing her son. Just like I’m missing Chandler. There is so much you don’t have to say when you’re with someone who already gets it. But sometimes you say it anyway because there is a deep connection, an understanding between the two of you, that is reassuring, comforting. The knowing nod, the tear in the eye — these are not obligatory or courteous responses. They are rooted in a shared experience, a common grief. Her pain is my pain. And mine is hers.
This woman is so wise and runs so deep. I took her words with me to the beach after our time together at the coffee shop.
I paid for four hours of parking, strapped on my beach chair, umbrella, and backpack, and headed down the steep hill to Salt Creek Beach.
The phrase that echoed in my mind throughout my entire four hours was, “This is perfect.”
The sky was the most calming yet vibrant shade of blue. The waves, aaahhh, the gently rolling waves. Just the sound always speaks peace to my soul. The sand was warm and welcomed me to set up my space for the day.
I reclined my beach chair, closed my eyes, and allowed myself to just be.
After a while, I propped up my chair, pulled out my journal and my purple gel pen, and began to write down some of the things my friend and I had talked about this morning. I want to remember her words. She doesn’t just say stuff. It’s like she has this wisdom filter that her words go through before they exit her mouth, so when you hear them, you want to write them down.
Next, I opened up my latest read, The Choice. It’s the true story of a holocaust survivor and her path to freedom, physically and emotionally. One of the passages I underlined in purple was:
To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself. And to trust that there is enough, that you are enough. Dr. Edith Eva Eger
That’s a lot to digest. It speaks to my current learning curve — to be confident in my decisions, to trust my heart.
I took a break from reading to go for a long walk on the beach. When I reached the end of the stretch of accessible beach, I turned around and decided to run back to my spot. It’s crazy how much harder it is to run in sand than on hard ground! Let’s just say if Rocky Balboa had trained on the beaches of SoCal instead of on the streets of Philadelphia, his first fight may have taken a different turn.
Post-run, while sitting on my chair munching on my Trader Joe’s broccoli kale chicken salad, I listened to my heart and made a decision about something that needed to be decided today. I refrained from overthinking and analyzing my decision or backpedaling. It took less energy to simply listen and follow my heart than to take a couple of steps toward following my heart and then begin dissecting every part of the decision to check for logic, practicality, worst case scenarios, how it will affect every person’s life on planet earth, etc., etc., etc. My plan is to continue utilizing this new “follow your heart path” operating system.
I trudged up the hill ten minutes before my parking pass would expire, grateful that my legs would carry me up that incline carrying all my stuff.
Tonight I went to dinner and a movie with friends. I highly recommend the Kilauea (pepper-crusted burger with spicy jack cheese and crispy onions) at Islands.
Today — from morning until pre-bedtime — only things that fed my soul. And my belly.
Thank you, God, for every intricate detail you designed in nature. The magnetic forces that pull the foaming waves toward the shore, the vast array of colors landscaping the cliffs by the ocean, even the shades of blue painted across the sky. Thank you for good people to share life with. Thank you for health. For books to read that inspire and challenge. Thank you for a nice, long soul care day. Amen.