WWHC? Part 2
In yesterday’s blog post, I said that I was going to share today another way that I am answering the question - WWHC (What would honor Chandler)?
After January 1….
Sometimes I don’t want to type the words. I just type the date instead.
After January 1, I was talking with one of Chandler’s friends from Board & Brew who told me that Chandler had recently engaged in a conversation with an accomplished author who frequents Board & Brew. The conversation was about writing. I had to know more. Thanks to my great friends at Board & Brew and the kindness of this author, I was able to connect with him.
Chandler had asked this individual about what it takes to become a writer. My son wanted to be a writer. This gracious man told me that he was impressed with Chandler’s sincerity — that he was serious about the conversation and the pursuit.
In my former life (aka before a full time job), I was a writer and editor. My husband is an author. Chandler’s aunts and grandma are authors. Chandler could have asked any of us for advice. I love that he wanted to do it, as the song in his celebration of life video says, HIS way.
Charli recently found one of Chandler’s old essays from high school and said, “Mom, this is really good.” She’s a tough writing critic, so it had to be excellent. Chandler did not lack for intellect or the ability to write well. What tripped him up were those irritating due dates. Charli couldn’t understand why he didn’t get a higher grade. Then she saw the note on the page. Minus 20 points for being turned in late. I always looked forward to reading anything he would write to me in my Mother’s Day cards because it was full of Chandler-ness. He had a voice that, no doubt, would have made its way to the surface and found its audience.
Since a year or so ago, I’ve been thinking, praying, and talking with friends and family about my desire to get back to writing. I was putting it off because my plan was to start grad school in January 2019, and I knew I would be investing hours in academic writing on top of working.
Everything changed on December 15. New game. New rules.
When my friend strongly suggested I start writing on CaringBridge to keep people updated and share about this journey, I did so reluctantly. But, as I’ve said before, writing each day has become my lifeline. And hearing from you that it is in any way helping you in your everyday life…
Well, let’s just say, I’d take my son back in a heartbeat and never write another word again. But since that deal’s not on the table, I am abundantly grateful that my lifelong passion has now become an avenue for processing and healing that can help someone else. For me, it is a point of redemption that screams, “When the worst happens, it won’t be wasted!”
Soon after my mom died of cancer, I watched a movie called Beaches about a woman who died of cancer. Not good timing on my part to watch that movie so soon. One of the songs in Beaches was Wind Beneath My Wings. Each time I heard that song, I thought about my mom and how much she loved me and believed in me.
WWHC? My baby boy who is gone, though my heart could never possibly be ready for that, my son who wanted to be a writer, is blowing great gusts of wind beneath my wings. We will do this together.