Magnificent Tattoo & Tough Moment at Work
This picture makes me happy. Not because I necessarily love tattoos, but because my son was so over-the-moon proud of this tattoo that artist Spike designed with Chandler when he visited India four years ago. Since his preferred state was shirtless, it was probably a good idea to decorate the property.
I started back to work this week doing speech therapy. I was afraid -- will I be able to focus; will I break down and cry; will I end the day saying, "I can't do this right now!"??? It has gone well...so much better than I had anticipated. God granted me a mellow first day back on Monday...no one ate their snot!!!
But this afternoon I had a momentary breakdown. Fifteen minutes before my first client, I got a text from Chase. That text was fine. The one just before it punched me in the gut. It had been sent the day Chandler died. I was back in Surgical ICU Room 6. My heart began to pound out of my chest. Tears filled my eyes. I took some deep breaths and told myself, "You cannot do this right now." I texted a friend and asked her to pray that I could get it together before my client. I struggled to shift my attention to the therapy materials in front of me. It was a slow turn, but it happened.
I'm grateful for the prayer of my friend, the grace of God, and a sweet little boy who, at the end of our session, gave me the picture we colored and asked if I would put it on my desk.