Koi Pond

Koi Pond

Today, past and present converged. It was wonderful. I wish it could have been perfect.

One of my dearest lifelong friends flew in from Washington to see me. We are easy together. Where do you want to eat? I’m up for anything. How about True Food? Yes, let’s do that. Want to shop? Always. How about we go home and open a bottle of wine? Sounds great.

After picking her up at the airport, we decided to go to Fashion Island to eat.

As we near the koi pond, I remember. Another forever friend, Lynette, took Chandler to Fashion Island when he was little, along with her little girl Brooke. Guess who ended up in the koi pond despite numerous reminders not to get too close? I know that memory is now bittersweet for Lynette. Hopefully it will become more sweet with time.

Although I wasn’t there when it happened, my mind played the movie. Chandler could not bring himself to maintain a distance from water. He wasn’t defiant. He just could not control the magnetic power that H2O held over him. I imagined his dimpled cheeks as he toppled into the water after teetering too close to the edge. That was my son. A metaphor for his life. Why stay on dry land when a world of fun awaits in the water?

We strolled past the koi pond and went on to have a delicious lunch at True Food. Then we walked on Corona del Mar beach. I told Carole that it was much easier walking up and down the hill to the beach without a stroller, boogie boards, lunch, and all the stuff associated with bringing three little boys and a toddler to the beach. I would give ANYTHING to schlep all of my kids, ALL of them, up and down that hill one more time.

After the beach, we met Charli, Lynette and Brooke for coffee.

Wonderful day. Wonderful. It would have been perfect, if…

If Chandler were alive and well on this planet.

That’s just the way it is these days. Probably, or maybe, someday my mind and heart will recalibrate “perfect” and it will be a fitting description. I really don’t ask for much. Simple things make me happy. It’s the simple things in life that make for a perfect day.

It’s pretty simple. I just want my son back. Then….a perfect day.

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Feet Up Kind of Day

Feet Up Kind of Day

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