Father's Day...the First One
Chip’s story is not mine to tell today. I can’t adequately describe his feelings this first Father’s Day without his youngest son. What I can say with certainty is it’s hard.
I also know he’s grateful for our family. This weekend, we have not only our kids with us, but also Cholene, Ellen, Aunt Val, and Grandma Shari (aka Chip’s mom).
It’s been a wonderful couple of days just hanging out together, eating way more than we probably should, and interjecting Chandler stories throughout.
Tonight, Chip, Aunt Val, Chance, and I went to a concert — Train with Goo Goo Dolls. I bought the tickets November 15 thinking it would be a nice Father’s Day gift. Chip loves Train and has always wanted to see them in concert. When we drove to Whistler to take the boys skiing one time (I was pregnant with Charli), we listened to Drops of Jupiter from the airport to our hotel.
I was dancing and smiling up until Train sang When I Look to the Sky. It wrecked me.
When I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here
I closed my eyes, and all I could think of was my sweet boy watching over me. Aunt Val hugged me tight, our faces wet with tears. That song was a message to me. I know Chandler is here. I just wish I could touch him…hear his voice.
As Father’s Day 2019 comes to a close, I am grateful tonight that my kids have a dad who loves them fiercely. He has always done whatever he could to make sure they have opportunities to explore their passions — soccer, music, education, travel, BMX biking. He is their fan and wants them to pursue what fulfills them. He has always been playful, not afraid to get in the mix and look silly.
Chandler was so proud of his dad. They shared a passion for golf and swapped stories all the time. Chandler’s famous line was, “You should have seen me on the range.”
God, please continue to comfort Chip’s heart. Thank you for giving him the strength every day to keep putting one foot in front of the other despite the heaviness. Thank you for giving our kids a dad who truly enjoys being their dad. Amen.