Water is healing for me. It occurs to me that several of this year’s summer travel opportunities afforded to me have been connected to water — lakes, waterfalls, ponds, the ocean. Even swimming pools! I believe that God knows exactly what I need and is offering me the space to be there.
This afternoon I was in Laguna Beach for an appointment. I was planning to come straight home, but because of rush hour traffic, I thought maybe I should hang out at the beach for a bit before the drive home. I was right. Not because of the traffic but because of my soul.
I found a coveted parking spot. Pageant of the Masters is happening right now, so parking spots are few and far between. Grabbed my journal and pen and walked a few blocks to the beach. The sand was warm, and the temperature demanded neither a bikini nor a sweatshirt, which was providential since I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and jeans. I looked out over the endless expanse of water and remembered how vast, how limitless my God is. With that in mind, I read through the reflections I’d written during my glorious quiet time in Palm Desert last week. Here are a few:
-God’s love is healing. It will carry me. It will console me and fill up the deep places of emptiness. It is enough.
- Be grateful for all the gifts in my life when I’m tempted to lament and long for a different set of past circumstances.
-I am enough. Christ lives in me. Everything I need is already here.
-Forgiveness frees me and detaches me from the hurts that rob me of being who Christ intends for me to be — a fully alive person, not defined by or bound by anyone else’s actions, reactions, or lack thereof.
As if sitting in the sand next to the waves with my journal weren’t enough, the remainder of my evening included time with a cherished friend and a conversation with one of Chandler’s best friends who is doing something Chandler would be…IS…so proud of.
Amidst painful thoughts that drifted into my mind unbidden, this day unfolded with many welcome gifts, affirmations, and joys.
3-5-97 Chandler, the other day in the van, I said, “Chandler when we get home, you can have a little snack.” You immediately piped up and said, “No, I already did take a nap.” I said, “Snack, not nap.” You thought that was so funny, you continued a few days later to say, “Hey, Mom, say that you ready for snack’”— and we go through the whole thing. It’s like our own little knock-knock type joke.