Nothing Except Gratitude
Often, I know exactly what I’m going to write about when I open up my laptop. Other times, I have a vague idea, and it takes shape as I begin to type. Today as I begin writing my blog, nothing jumps out at me except how grateful I am to have gotten through a day with no gut punches and none of the tidal waves that come from out of nowhere it seems.
I don’t even know if that’s a good thing, the absence of tidal waves or gut punches. I just know it gives me some time to recover and get ready for the next round.
I feel sometimes like I’m waiting for a shoe to drop. I’ve not experienced depression since January 1, and it seems too good to be true. Is there something I’m not acknowledging, an area of denial, a pocket of pain so deep I can’t yet reach what’s at the bottom? I’ve continued to function and live my life. Not just survive but ENJOY my life. I should probably just be grateful and shut up.
At any rate, the gift of being able to process out loud, to share my thoughts with people who care, to receive with an open heart the love and encouragement that comes my way, to help others through this involuntary journey I’m on through this blog….it is one of the greatest sources of strength for me right now.
8-16-99 - Chandler: “I know that Jesus had a jackass.” You were excited to find a legitimate way to say that work.