Holding It All Together
Today in church, the scripture reading that spoke most directly to me was:
And He Himself existed and is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17
How many times have I felt like I’m coming apart?! Especially in these past months. When I heard that scripture, I thought, “Lord, you are holding me together.”
I left early because my nose was stopped up and I was struggling not to cough. Lots of sneezing and nose blowing today — what is up with allergies right now?!!!
Despite the allergy distress, I made chicken salad, egg salad, and farro salad for this week’s lunches for Charli and me. And I managed to throw together some crazy good roasted baby potatoes with fresh thyme and rosemary, lemon juice, olive oil, and garlic. Unexpected treat — spiralized butternut squash noodles were on sale. Saved time, saved money, and whipped up a savory side dish of roasted squash noodles with a bit of fresh parmesan and butter.
After dinner, I went for a two-mile run in the cool evening air. I’m not really a runner, but I think I’m discovering the importance of pace. As I was running up one of the hills here in Dove Canyon, I discovered it was easier when I was listening to a song that helped me keep my pace. Too slow and I felt like I was dragging. Too fast and I couldn’t maintain. When I found the perfect song (I’m the One by Justin Bieber and DJ Khaled), my pace felt natural, like I could have kept running further. That might be a good lesson to generalize into my everyday life. I need to choose my pace carefully. If my pace is too fast, I may give in to frenetic activity and wear myself out. If my pace is too slow, I may give in to inertia or settle into a sense of complacency. Some of this breaks down during this season of grief. Right now, I sort of feel like all bets are off. I need to do what I need to do to take care of myself. If it means inertia for a bit, then so be it. I can’t predict what I will need tomorrow, next week, or next month. But in general, I think my little lesson on pace while running up Dove Canyon Drive can teach me something useful in my non-running life.
As I look forward in the next few minutes to sitting on the couch, watching an episode or two of my favorite obsession, and enjoying a bowl of homemade mocha sorbet, my heart is thankful that I don’t have to hold everything together. Hands much bigger, much stronger than mine can do that. All I have to do is my best. Sometimes that doesn’t seem enough, but it’s all I can do. And I can try to keep a good pace. Not too fast. Not too slow.
I can be at peace because…
He holds all things together.